I learned a valuable lesson.  I learned that although I feel that my daughter is a talented artist for her age and enjoy framing and viewing some of the art that she has done so far, it might not be something as to decorate my entire house with.  

On our last home search, we encountered a proud parent that had not yet learned that lesson.  Don’t get me wrong, some of the things this young artist had done were very impressive, but there was hardly a wall throughout the entire house that did not contain at least one piece of this precious ‘art’.  The ‘art’ was not only on the walls; there were two mobiles – one made from silverware, the other made from aluminum cans – hanging from the ceiling.  I snapped pictures these as well as two particularly interesting paintings showcased in this whole-house gallery.  One was a lovely picture of what appears to be a very pissed off cat.  This was hanging in the center of a college of many framed works in the dining room.  I’m sure most everyone would like to have an irritated cat staring at them while they eat.  The second is most definitely a baseball player…possibly while they are looking at themselves in a fun house mirror.  This one was on the wall in a bedroom.  It would have caused me nightmares.

I am a fan of home improvement projects.  In fact, one of the things I am really looking forward to in having a new home is weekend home improvement projects.  During my home search, I enjoy looking to see what other home owners have come up with and at times will jot notes down when I find something particularly clever that I can do.  I have also learned that while doing a medium to large project like laying tile or building furniture there is a lot of room for errors.  I have seen many of these during my recent home search.  Sometimes it’s apparent that they started with a good idea and then just didn’t quite get there, and other times one has to wonder what the hell they were thinking. 

All and all, there are some basic rules of any construction project that it seems some people are not aware of… like it’s always a good idea to measure.  That brings me to the home we just toured that we have deemed the “house of non-proportion.”  This home at first look seemed nice and spacious, until we started noticing small important details… like not even I can fit my rear end in the space they put the toilet. 

Here we have the first issue with not measuring… please note that they have installed new cabinets. Then they updated their appliances.  Then they noticed that it might have been important to take into account drawer clearance.  There were a total of four drawers in this entire kitchen; only one that will actually open all the way.

Here we have the master bathroom shower.  At first, I didn’t see a thing wrong with it… until Ken stepped into it.  It is apparently not built for anyone larger or taller than I am.  Although, as you can see, he would have a very clean nose.  So we assumed short, smallish people lived here and they had done some custom remodeling to comfortably accommodate being vertically challenged…

Until we entered the basement and saw the gigantic bar.  Ken sat down to pretend to order a drink and felt like a toddler sitting at a restaurant booth without a booster chair.  To be able to use this, we would have either purchased really tall custom made bar stools or grown to be 7 feet tall. 

For lunch today, I ended up with my boss and a coworker at Godfather’s Pizza. For those of you that know me, I try to avoid pizza at all costs; I just really don’t care for it much for whatever reason. So, I rarely end up at a pizza place and don’t know the drill. I was given a plate, went through the buffet and stopped by the station to get knives and forks and such. I thought I was doing well until I was derailed by the napkins. Not only did they have something for me to read instead of just wipe my hands on, they were a bit rude. It made me begin to contemplate what others might have on their hands that might make one print this disclosure. In any case… eww.